with your own penis?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
