Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
