Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
