I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
