There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
