Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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