was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
