My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
