I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
