We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
