I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
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