Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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