you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
