Are we in a gay sports bar?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
