Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
