one two three fourrrrnication!
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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