; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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