That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Randomize
