Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
