Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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