I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
