after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
