tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
