just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
