Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
