I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
