I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Houston, we have a blender
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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