What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
