We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
