I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
