At least make sure they are 18
Why
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Randomize
