Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
