and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
