doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
