ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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