i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
