My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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