If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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