I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
