Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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