I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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