hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
