I would go down on you faster than GM stock
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
