Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i would punch a child for taco bell
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
