Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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