Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I think im going to throw up on grandma
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
