Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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