i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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