i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
We're too hungover to prance.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
