We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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