i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
