Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
