"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
