Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
