CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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