Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just found puke in my bra..
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
