Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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